'Ahhhhhhh Valentines Day. The delightful day when that special someone lets you know how much he loves you (Oh wait, there may be a problem here). Sarcastic?! Who me?!?! Please pass the chocolate... '
(With this short video from 'Somethings Gotta Give')
I was dating a lot last summer and fall. I met many very nice men and shared some enjoyable time with them. None that have become more than friendship and someone to share common interests with. I know what I am seeking... I have yet to find him.
Will I ever? I do not know. I am not 'waiting', I do not 'need' a partner. My life is delightful and engaging. That said, I still yearn for connection. For touch, breath in the night, loving sensuality. For a steady witness, to my life... And especially as I opened this with, to be able to give the abundant love I have, from my Heart to the Heart of another. To be with someone who understands and cherishes being loved... And flows it in return.
In some respects I think as strong, secure, self-assured women... We are not suppose to say the above. I am suppose to say, I am perfectly fine without a partner. I actually can say this... And more than one thing can be true at the same time. I still ache a bit when on my walk this morning, I saw couples walking with the sunrise, holding hands.
Sometimes that ache, which contains the grief of loss, can still over flow...
A dear friend and I were walking on this beach on the north shore of Kauai. She is also a widow and I was sharing stories of meeting my husband here on Kauai. We saw a couple off in the distance and she took this photo. When we got close to them she offered to email them the photo. Trust me, when you lose your Beloved to death, you want to run around and 'warn' couples... I want to say; 'Don't you know one of you is going to die and leave the other!'
Last year on Valentines Day I was devastated. The 'perfectly imperfect man' had just left me a few days before. I wanted to get away so I went to Harbin Hot Springs to soak my aching Heart. It was lovely place to do so. I spent many hours over several days sitting on this bench writing.
Of course, Harbin was full of couples... I would be soaking in the pools surrounded by people in love. At first it was almost unbearable. Then I found a way to keep my Heart flowing... I watched couples together, sharing touch and eyes melting into each other while the healing water surrounded us all... I silently sent them a Blessing: 'I hope one of you dies a very old person in the arms of the other... And to the one left... I hope you find Peace.'
Last September the fires of Northern California swept through the hundreds of acres that was Harbin Hot Springs Retreat Center. It was all destroyed, this bench and tree are now ashes. Fortunately, everyone got away safely... And what remains is the love and the memories of this healing sacred place. Love remains.
And what is my 'simple intent'?!