Little Girl Walking With Wolves... (Part 2 of 2)

And what then is the greater pain? To not be loved...                      Or perhaps is it a much greater pain to not have our love received...

I am at Harmony Hill Retreat Center on retreat with 9 other facilitators of groups and retreats. We are exploring and co-creating an exciting new program being developed called 'Healing Circles' in collaboration with Commonweal in California. Much more about this soon... 

We are exploring the art of facilitation by being on retreat. Being our own Healing Circle. Last night we created collages and shared them with each other, speaking from the Heart and offering Generous Listening. 

Above is my collage... I shared in my prior post, Little Girl Walking With Wolves, my Journey through the underworld, dancing with my deepest fears and Shadows. My deepest wound. The Journey took me to the face of my mother who because of her own horrific wounds... Was unable to love from her Heart. Unable to see, honor and cherish me for exactly who I am.  I thought this was my greatest pain. Sitting in circle last night, after the meditative experience of creating the collage and sharing my shadow dancing with our circle (which is made up of several Beloved friends)... I had a flash of insight. My mother not loving me is not my greatest pain... 

My greatest pain is that she did not allow me to give her all the love I have to give. She did not allow me the honor of truly loving her. She did not allow me to be in my shining light, loving from my Heart... Loving from my Spirit. I often say: 'I am fortunate to have so many people grant me the honor of loving them'. This is a statement from the Heart. It is what I miss most in not having a life partner. Not just being loved... Even more glorious... Giving love. 

The little baby in the collage is laying back in complete surrender as her mother washes her... As the water pours. This is how I choose to live my life... Heart open... Head back in surrender... Water (Heart) flowing... With the Redwolff watching over.  

So Be It...