I have looked death in the face to the depths of my Soul. The last breaths, of my Beloved father, were my own as I did CPR, following his massive heart attack. I did CPR even though the moment I saw him laying on the kitchen floor… I knew he was complete with this lifetime. I had presence of Heart to say ‘I love you’ between giving him breaths.
When I knew that my Beloved husband (and I) were ready, I took the oxygen from his face, the trigger that helped his body… Complete it's Journey. I breathed with him, laying by the large windows of our living room, the quarter moon shining, and witnessed him slowly take those last 10 or so breaths.
Their bodies died… Their Love… Remains.
All around me I am witnessing Beloved friends struggle with illness, grief, unbearable loss. It is an ever increasing part of The Journey as I am in the last half of my 50s. It is quite simple. Love… And you will experience loss and feel pain. Assisting women to birth babies, I have watched thousands of the ‘first breath’, we all inspired. And, out there somewhere… We all will have ‘last breath’… Expiration.
Today… I am healthy. Surrounded with people who grant me the honor of loving them and return that love to me. I have the work of my dharma. hOMe’s that not only provide shelter for my body, they provide nurturing and rest for my Heart & Spirit. There are infinite variables in The Divine Universe. I look at my life and know how exquisitely Blessed I am. Every day, I find that living in astonished Gratitude, is easier and easier.
These photos represent one day. While this was not a ‘normal’ day, for me it will continue to represent, my intent to Be Alive. It was Thanksgiving Day of 2014. I was in Tulum, Mexico on a retreat facilitated by my friend davidji.
We began the day with sunrise meditation on the beach. I followed meditation with a naked swim in the Caribbean Sea. Ahhhh yes, quite Alive! Then 12 (The Dharma Dozen) of us went on a day long adventure in the Mayan jungle. Bike, climb, zip line across a lake, kayak, hike, receive and give a Blessing to a Mayan Shaman, swim in a Cenote (cave), rappel off the cliff face of another Cenote, zip line through the jungle, have a traditional meal in a Mayan village, stand in circle toasting our day with shots of tequila.
Then we returned to Maya Tulum (our hOMe for a week) for a Thanksgiving dinner where we all, secretly slipped each other love notes. After dinner, we shared a beautiful ritual of release. Setting an intention to let go of what no longer served. I. Let. Go.
Then late night, I completed the day with just a couple friends... On the beach in a circle of light. The first photo of the day, completing a powerful spiraling circle with the last photo of the day.
I will continue to hold this day, dearly in my Heart, as a reminder... Of Who-I-Am and how I choose to walk in this lifetime. I experienced this day for all of those who I love, who are no longer ‘with breath’ or who do not have the ability to do such things.
It was my first time rappelling… I stood backwards on a cliff and leaned back… Off the edge. Was it hard? Was I scared? Not for a moment… I Am (Aham Brahmasmi) Alive. I Am… Present with This breath. Now.
From (I highly recommend) the tour company: